Thanks so much for all the advice, everyone. I'm doing much better. Your suggestions (as well as some grudging but extremely helpful time at the gym) have made a huge difference. Not that the above picture should be taken as representing how I actually feel, of course: it's more like how I'd like to feel. You know, some day. But I'm closer than I was a few days ago, so thanks ever so much for that. Aaaaand back to work.