Wednesday, May 15, 2013

emails with spouses

Greetings from the other side of finals! As always, it was a rough few weeks (maybe someday I'll figure out how to keep finals from being a tortuous and miserable ordeal?), but it all ended well, with a 4.0, some really kind and helpful comments on my papers from my professors, and a trip to New York (pictures forthcoming). And even the misery of actually writing and slogging through was eased somewhat by my fabulously funny and supportive spouse. As an example, here's an actual email exchange, reproduced here for your reading pleasure. Enjoy.

Monday, April 29 at 1:01pm  
Haylie Swenson to Ross Dewey
Subject: Hey you

Email me, okay? It would do me good to hear your (digital) voice. 

Love lots, 


Monday, April 29 at 1:43pm
Ross Dewey to Haylie Swenson
Subject: RE: Hey you

Uh…you’re really putting me on the spot. You know how that shuts me down. I never know what to say when I’m asked to say something, but I’ll give it my best shot. I’m reminded of one of my childhood memories. It was last summer, and we were celebrating the joyous day commemorating the birth of my spouse. As you may recall, in fact, you were my adoring spouse at the time. There was good food and good company to be had in plenty at the ever-busy Good Stuff. Having already given up the cow for some time, you may not recall just how good Good Stuff can be when augmented by the succulent flavor of bacon, beef, barbecue sauce, cheese, and onion rings combined in the Coletti style. I digress. As I was saying, a very special birthday occasioned the event, and indeed there was nothing to disappoint. Following the main course, of course, we enjoyed the immensely enjoyable artistic stylings of the Brothers Cohen in the form of the classic Homer’s Odyssey, accompanied by very well-intentioned yet lackluster brownies. Lest, however, by my own selfish elocution I entirely miss the window of opportunity for spousal communication and support given me by the distant plea of my favorite little voice, I must now draw on the powers granted by the underrated god of brevity as I come to my point. Which is thusly: such good times as were had then, must surely increase tenfold in less than the time it takes the moon to cycle from shy to bold. In more universally known terms, your time of bondage will be interrupted by a brilliant burst of freedom in less than 388,800 seconds. With this in mind, and with the remote yet powerful support of your beloved, you must now persevere. And so onward. Huzzah!

Thanks, Ross. I couldn't have done it without you. Onward to summer! Huzzah!


  1. THIS GUY! He's rad. Excellent choice of mate, darling. Can't wait to practically be neighbors with you guys in TEN WEEKS!

  2. You blogged!! Best day ever.

    You and Ross are hilarious, by the way.